Your biggest thing in need of improvement is
your subtitles. This movie was dark, so it would have been a better idea to make the words white and not black. Other methods would be to have a designated spot for subtitles (see my Nintendo Story series for an example).
To be honest, this movie was boring, and had little entertainment value. This may be the start of a series, but you need to be more precise on showing the viewer what you want this series to be about. Unless this was just a flashback. Really, this seemed more like a trailer for a Harry Potter story than an actual series "pilot".